reflections on ‘Tessa & Adam’ script reading

For those just catching up, ‘Tessa & Adam’ is a project that I am currently developing:

‘Tessa & Adam’ is a comedy web series that captures the idiosyncratic moments between born-and-bred British lad Adam and his Dutch expat partner Tessa. Told in short self-contained episodes and set in their modest but well appointed London flat, each episode revolves around a small intimate moment or quirky observation that parallels into a story that any couple can relate to.

I recently had five episodes read and critiqued at the London Comedy Writers group.

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After a reading I always take some time to digest the feedback as well as my own thoughts.

It’s hard to judge by the reading alone if something is working. I’m not too attached to whether people laugh or not as it’s often a cold read for everyone concerned. That said I had plenty of smiles, a few giggles and some hearty chuckles, which is more than enough for me.

What you can tell from a solid reading though is whether the rhythm and pace is working and what jokes really land and what ones don’t and end up broken and dying in the dirt.

I never know what is going to work. Often I find the simplest things end up playing well, whereas some of my more crafted comedic moments get no love at all.

For me, it’s the feedback after the read that really counts. That’s where I get the little pearls of wisdom and sparks of inspiration that help me identify what needs working on so I can move forward.

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So the consensus was that it is indeed funny and entertaining. Phew. I had a few comments like “I wasn’t bored”, which is a bit of a backhanded criticism, and “I don’t like them” or “I didn’t get it” but I can take that. They’re just opinions at the end of the day and there’s nothing I can do to change them.

I picked up a few simple things that I can fix, such as don’t put the punchline in the episode title, a true Brit would never eat tinned peas and there’s great comic potential in subtle racism.

Everyone liked the characters, especially Tessa. Adam could do with a bit of work. I need to make him commit more to his point-of-view and heighten his traits and characteristics – in short I need to give him some balls. After a long period of writing ineffectual emasculated male leads I’m more than happy to oblige on this front.

There was a great deal of discussion about what is the series hook and whether the characters are “likable” or “interesting” enough. With more discussion though this clarified down to, what is unique and interesting about Tessa and Adam’s relationship that unites them? Why are they together and why should we care?

And you know what, the group hit upon a really valid point. Now, I know why they are together and what makes their relationship interesting but I haven’t communicated that well enough in any of the episodes that I have written thus far.

Out of this reading there are four key things I now realise I need to do:

1. I need to write a new pilot episode that sets up the characters and their relationship and also welcomes the audience into their world.
2. I can use all the questions that people had about their relationship as subjects for future episodes to reveal more about them as the series progresses.
3. I need to clarify the kind of character moments and story beats unique to this series that each episode will turn on.
4. And I need to let my characters commit 110% to who they are because that is where comedy gold lies.

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For me, ‘Tessa & Adam’ is about finding comedy in the smallness of things within a relationship – little observations, intimate moments or things that couples don’t normally talk about.

It’s never going to be high-concept or big and broad. At this point I have very little interest in what their lives are like in the outside world. There are plenty of other comedies out there that tackle families, work, politics, mates and society beautifully. I don’t need to compete with them. I just need to stay the course and hone what I am trying to achieve to the best of my ability.

That being said, the very last episode that was read and also the latest episode that I wrote (in a day I think) got the best response. People really connected with it and could see themselves in it, which is not something I would have expected.

It just goes to show that we all share more common experiences than we realise and that is what I’m betting will make ‘Tessa & Adam’ work.

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goals for 2010

This year I’ve taken on some advice from Piers over at his blog, Between the Pavement and the Stars, and have focused my goals on things that are under my control and achievable.

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Professionally, I’m in a great position to get some work done this year. I have a job that pays the bills and also affords me enough time and head space to write. It’s time to live up to my own expectations and to have something to show for the year. This year is about completing several pieces of work, pitching, networking and not waiting for permission to get things done.

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Personally, this year is about enjoying what London has to offer, both big and small. It’s snowing outside as I write this and is a perfect example of what I mean. I’m a complete tourist I know but I’m loving it. I want more of these experiences so that by the end of the year I feel more like a local. 2010 is about seeing more, doing more and socialising … more!

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hope for the new year

On New Years day I was greeted by this little fella on my window sill.

It didn’t snow over New Years as I had hoped but I think as far as kicking off a new year (not to mention a new decade) goes this more than made up for it.

Seeing this filled me with hope that I could indeed start to make London work for me this year.

Let me be clear, last year London felt like a real bitch – a slightly aging but still in-demand bitch of a diva … and she knows it. A bitch who can offer you the world but you better have some money and be somebody to be even worth her time. If not, forget about it!

Luckily 2010, what little of it I have experienced, doesn’t feel like that anymore. I am more hopeful and can happily say that the heaviness and stress of last year has all but lifted.

I feel like I’m actually a contributing part of society thanks to my job. I have a better understanding of how London works and how to have some quality of life here. And I feel like I have choice as well as the ability to take advantage of what this city has to offer.

Like I said, part of that is due to me getting a job but it was also thanks to embracing the festive season.

I didn’t get the white Christmas I had hoped for but we did get one great night of snow where I got to walk through the city to Trafalgar Square to see the carolers.

Call me a tourist but I also loved the Christmas lights down Oxford Street and around the city.

As well as feeding the squirrels!

I had a fabulous Christmas day with mates and plenty of hours in front of the telly lapping up England’s famous holiday specials.

I also spent my break mulling over my hopes for the coming year and what I want to achieve.

Very shortly I’ll be posting up my goals for 2010, so drop back to see what I plan to get up to and if you have goals of your own feel free to link to them or share them in the comments below.

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reflections on 2009

Back in January I posted my goals for my first year in London. Not everything has gone to plan. It’s been a rough year to be honest. Money has been tight. Being a new face in a competitive industry during a recession has been tough. And just getting use to Jolly Old Londontown has been a struggle at times.

Would I have changed my decision to come to the UK? Not at all. Would I do things differently? Definitely! Can I do anything about that now? Not really. And upon reflection, do I really have that much to complain about though? No, not really.

I’m now working (part-time but at least not being exploited), living in a lovely little flat (by London standards) and looking forward to my first UK Christmas (with the promise of snow … maybe).

So, how did I go with my goals with year? Let’s see …

personal

find a borough and a flat in the UK I can call home

I’m still living in Euston above the tube lines (that rocks me to sleep every night and wakes me every morning) but have to say I love being so close to Bloomsbury and Soho. we are going to move eventually, there is only so long that we can live in a studio but for now it suits us. We could end up in Brixton, which looks affordable with a vibrant young up-and-coming community feel to it or maybe somewhere South West, but that just seems so cliché seeing as that’s where most Aussies seem to end up congregating when they move to London.

maintain a blog for the entire year

Check.

make London friends

I have, slowly. I can count friends of friends, a few ex-work colleagues and some fellow expats that I knew from years ago among my new London friends. So I’m getting there and certainly not a noddy-no-friends but submissions are still open for 2010, anyone … anyone …

stay in contact with Australian friends and family every month

This has been very important to me and thanks to Skype, Facebook, Twitter and good old fashion email I’ve managed to stay connected to those nearest and dearest to me on the other side of the globe. But come 2010 I know I have to make more of an effort to form connections here as I continue to carve out a life for myself.

keep up exercise three times a week

Now I’m not bragging but living a minimal life this year has meant that I’m in the best shape I’ve been in for years, thanks to the gym (my one big indulgence for 2009), a brutal weekly yoga class and clean living with very little excess (who can afford it!).

take better photos

I hope I have. You tell me.

cook more (does not include heating, frying or zapping)

We are blessed with a decent gas oven/hot plate cooker and don’t have a microwave so there has been no other option but to cook. And you know what, I’ve really been enjoying it. I bake a mean breakfast loaf and have been doing some tasty slow cooked meals in a ceramic hot pot that TJ got as a parting gift from her last job. Next year I hope to experiment more with England’s weird and wonderful array of root vegetables.

travel

Being financially challenged has meant that I haven’t travelled as much as I would have liked this year. But I have been to Geneva in Switzerland, Lake Stresa and Milan in Italy as well as Bristol and Brighton in the UK. Next week I’m off to Dorset for the day (to visit my Great Uncle Bill), which should be a real treat. Next year we plan to do more day or weekend trips around the UK and more travel to Europe hopefully – with it so close it would be a sin not to.

professional

Ugh, these are the tough ones …

land an opportunity in the UK that I couldn’t get in Australia

I’m not sure I can say that I have yet. There are certainly more opportunities in television and scriptwriting here in London but have I “landed” any yet? Not really. I’ve applied for a range of schemes and jobs that I wouldn’t necessarily have access to back in Australia and have also joined two writers groups so let’s call it a work in progress. Check in with me by the end of 2010 and hopefully I’ll have more to report on this front.

secure a screenwriting agent in the UK

Yeah … not so much. While important to my ongoing career I realise now that the most important thing is just to focus on producing good work and the rest will follow. My writing has gone through a lot of growth this year, which has included a lot of awkward and just plain ugly growing pains. But I can honestly say that I have produced some work this year that I am very proud of.

complete three original works

This is a box I can definitely tick. I completed a couple of sketches (let’s call that one) plus two multi-episode web series. All of these fell into place in the second half of the year after I just let go and started writing what entertained and interested me. During the first half of the year I produced some work that I wasn’t so proud of, especially seeing as they were the examples I used for several writing schemes, such as the BBC Writers Academy and Channel 4’s Coming Up programme. I hit some real stumbling blocks, let the pressure get to me, double guessed myself and just wrote some God awful stuff to be honest. I’ve been able to move past this now and reflecting back on this work I can see where I went wrong and how to rescue some of it when I comes to rewriting it.

practice pitching

I’ve done more than practice, I’ve actually gone out and pitched this year. I’m quite happy with what I’ve put together and presented in the second half of this year. It’s now a matter of waiting until the new year to see if anyone bites.

network

Where possible I’ve tried to get out and about to meet people and do the whole “networking” thing. My biggest success to date has been joining two writers groups. The London Comedy Writers and Script Tank have given me structure, a community to feel a part of and most importantly the opportunity to share my work with other like-minded peers. It has been something I have always craved and can say without a doubt it has been one of my biggest achievement this year.

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Well, that’s it.

Thanks to everyone for following the blog this year. I look forward to regaling you all with more tales in 2010.

I hope you stay safe and have a happy festive season and wish you nothing but the best for 2010.

Come January 2010 I’ll publish my goals for the year and start the whole process again.

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All steps you need to fix Facebook’s live news feed

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Thanks to Michael of Tecknotroniks, here is a solution for fixing your Facebook News Feed.

quick update … planet strange & couple comedy web series

Last week a slot opened up at Script Tank so I quickly whipped a couple of pieces into shape to be read. One was Planet Strange, which I had to finish writing and the other was a re-write of of my couples based web series.

Thanks to my mate Lawrence, who helped me to assemble a great group of actors, it turned out to be a great night with lots of feedback and constructive criticism that I could use.

As it’s only a first draft, Planet Strange got a great deal of constructive feedback (which I expected). To be honest I don’t mind at all. It helps to confirm what is working and what isn’t and what are the stand out elements that people really love. the read has given me confirmation on what to build on and how to tackle my next re-write.

The 2nd draft of the pilot episode for my couples comedy web series got a great response. I worked hard on this re-draft since my first read of this piece at the London Comedy Writers group and it paid off. I still need a final beat for the ending but the response was very strong – two of my favourites being “These are characters I’d like to visit again” and “smart, sexy and funny.”

I’m now busy taking a step back and formulating clear pitches for the projects I’m working on, not just for myself but also to take out and pitch to others. Things are good.

the wisdom of crowds

As the wisdom of crowds theory goes when a group focuses their efforts collectively they will nine times out of ten reach a “better” solution than if they were working alone.

When applied to writers groups where the focus is on critical feedback I can definitely say that this philosophy has worked for me.

I’ve been attending the London Comedy Writers group and Script Tank for a while now. Not only has it got me out of the house (a boon for any writer!) but it’s also where I’ve found my crowd.

Just recently I had a couple of my sketches, House Cat and The End is Nigh, read at Script Tank. They were re-writes from the last time I had them read at the London Comedy Writers group that I wanted to test out.

The reading allowed me to hear where both sketches were still slipping off track but it was the critique afterwards that proved most constructive.

The group very quickly honed in on what worked or what didn’t. This type of consensus can be harsh at times but it’s invaluable so you quickly learn to just shut up and listen and be open to what the group have to say.

Up until this point everything the group said confirmed what I was already suspected. But then I got a comment out of the blue that suddenly brought one of my sketches into sharp focus.

Someone proposed a seemingly random, even small, idea that gave me a real “ah ha” moment that I’d been looking for. Within that one idea I suddenly had the answer to a problem that had been niggling me since day dot – delivered to me by the wisdom of my crowd and I couldn’t be more thankful.

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first reading of comedy web series

Last night I had the first draft of the first ep of my comedy web series read at the London Comedy Writers group.

Before I get into that though I have to let you know that as I am writing this I’m seated at the British Library (free wi-fi) jammed between two people talking incessantly on Skype, so if I suddenly drop in the odd bit of Spanish or corporate jargon don’t worry, I haven’t suddenly developed turrets it’s just one of the many occupational hazards of writing in public spaces.

Anyhoo, back to the sketch … well to start off with I’m happy to say I avoided the “up til 3am re-writing” hell that I’ve managed to fall into before. I came close but saw the writing on the wall and stepped away ASAP. Previously I endlessly re-wrote a piece to the point that it just screamed to be put out of its misery. This time a brisk walk, a bit of house cleaning and visit to the gym helped to clear the cobwebs and got me back on track – gracias a Dios.

That said, I’m still having trouble realising on the page what I imagine the series (and style of comedy) to be. Ideas are great, they are never more fully-formed or beautifully crafted than when they appear in your head but as soon as you put them down on the page they turn into inept brain farts. It takes instinct, craft and lots of hard work to re-write it into something more palatable. And when you do it often bears no resemblance to what you first imagined. So what do you do? Go with this new creation or try vainly to capture that elusive image in your head? That’s where I’m at. I wrote something that was decent and (in parts) brought the funny but it’s no where near where I want it to be … yet.

First problem – I’m being too kind to my characters. I’m trying to make them too well-rounded – too well adjusted. I guess I’m wanting to avoid cliche stereotypes (the up-tight repressed Brit and the liberated worldly European) but after hearing the script read I realised that without some sort of anomaly or twist the character cease to be comic. Comic characters are by nature extreme in some degree (Black Adder is super-humanly sarcastic and witty, David Brent is a humongous vain sad wanker), so for the re-write I think I need to embrace the stereotypes, at least for the time being, until I find the particular characteristics that make my characters really sing. I also realised (upon hearing other people’s scripts) that what may seem old, tired or “done” to me might not to others.

The other main problem about the first ep is that it skims over several gags but doesn’t really hook into one in particular. The episode opens with a strong visual situational gag so it needs an equally strong follow-up to see it through. I’m part of the way there but have still got a way to go. I am hoping through that once I heighten the characters it will come more from them rather than from me forcing the plot.

I did discover a couple of lines that really zinged, which was great, especially seeing as they were right at key turning points in the script, so that tells me that those beats are working. The main thing that isn’t is the ending. I find comic endings hard. Especially on short pieces because you don’t have the benefit of half an hour or two hours to build to something. In a sketch the ending has to be just as punchy as the first hook and then some. Everyone is waiting on that one final punchline to bring the piece home. A tall order. Some people can pluck these out of the sky – these are the people I hate! The dynamic blue-sky talented bastards that they are. Me, I have to work at it – Perro que no camina, no encuentra hueso.

Zing! …. ugh.

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things are looking up …

Right, so it’s a bit of laundry list but bear with me …

TJ’s new job

TJ has scored a new job in a newly set up development unit at BBC Wordwide. That’s right, she is now officially working for the government. I expect it won’t be long before she’s doing a 38 hour week, counting down the days til her long service leave and working in an office with a “please don’t abuse our staff” sign on the door!

Seriously though, she’s very excited about the job and it means that for the next twelve months we have some security. She had a great time heading up development in the digital unit at Fremantlemedia but we always said that coming to London was about taking advantage of opportunities that we couldn’t get back in Australia and this is the perfect example of one such opportunity.

little luxuries

As a result of TJ’s good fortune we can finally lash out on some little luxuries – temporary blinds from BlindInABox (it’s been probably ten years since we’ve slept in complete dark and God we’ve missed it); a multi-region DVD player courtesy of eBay (the Love Films subscription comes next); plus a casserole dish and stainless wok for some slow cooked wintery meals. It may not sound earth shattering but trust me these little things will make a big difference in our life.

writing

I’ve recently found a second writer’s group called Script Tank and it’s exactly the kind of group I’ve been looking for. It compliments The London Comedy Writers group perfectly as it is more focused on theatre, feature film and TV drama and has a strong membership base of professional and semi-pro writers, such as myself.

On the writing front I’m still working up some short material as well as several TV pilot scripts. When these scripts are ready I’ll have them read and critiqued at both these groups to help in my redrafting and polishing process. Getting a decent reading is vital – it allows you to hear now a script really sounds and to figure out what’s working and what isn’t. At the moment I’m confident that I should be well on the way to hitting my goal of completing three new original pieces of work this year.

work

Coming off the back of working on Freak, I recently took on a small paid gig Production Managing a short film (Unrequited Love) for writer/director Jade Syed-Bokhari of White Fire Films. We shot out at Black Park (near Pinewood Studios) under a beautiful old oak tree with Max Irons (Jeremy Irons son) on what turned out to be a perfect day. Sounds impressive? Well let me assure you filmmaking isn’t all glamour, a big part of my day was spent at the end of a pole waving a branch to create picturesque shadows in shot.

It turned out to be a great experience as I got to apply my eight odd years of experience to the job and got to draw on some people and resources that I acquired from working on Freak, which meant that things ran smoothly and we got everything in the can in under ten hours.

networking

Over the past couple of months I’ve been to several film and TV networking nights – there’s always something desperate and dateless about these events. Two thirds of the people are guarantee to be actors and composers while the other third is likely to be people looking to meet someone who can give them a gig. So it’s a lot of people all looking from the same thing … from each other! Not the best recipe for success. Despite this, I have to say though that I did meet some interesting people who hopefully I can keep in touch with and work with at a later date.

moving forward

I’m now hoping to take on some more paid short film production managing/producing gigs to get some money in and also to keep building my network. The more gigs like this I do the more I will learn and the larger my network will grow – which can only be a good thing, both in terms of leading to some full-time paid work and also when I’m ready to start shooting some of my own material. That’s the plan anyway, Ill let you know how I go.

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‘House Cat’ sketch read at London Comedy Writers meeting

Tuesday was my comedy writer’s group again and not only was ‘House Cat’ and another sketch read but also a piss-funny animated sitcom ‘Blames Direct’ by Alex Howley. You can read how it went down over at the London Comedy Writers blog.

The night was a real hoot with plenty of new faces and lots of energy in the room. The group has been on fire recently and I’m looking forward to what the next meeting brings.

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So, how did ‘House Cat’ go down I hear you ask?

Good. There was plenty of feedback and hearing it read with audience reaction was invaluable. It all gave me plenty to work on for the next draft.

It didn’t get a raucous response or endless praise (writers – they’re a tough crowd!), not that I was hoping for either but there were laughs where I hoped there would be, which was a good sign. There was feedback about what worked and what didn’t and suggestions on how to punch it up, which is what I was really looking for in the end.

The lead in to the sketch is still a bit too long, I need to get to the set-up and first real gag quicker. This is something I’m still learning with my comedy writing and a tip that’s applicable across all genres – get to the set-up and first genre defining moment (be it comedy, drama, horror, sci-fi) as quickly as possible to tell your audience what story they’re in and where it’s headed.

My main comic character can be punched up some more as well. This was reassuring feedback to get as I was worried he was too big. I tend to write quite naturalistically and so I have to remember that comedy gives you the license to go big – to push characters and scenarios to the extreme.  I’m quite happy to do another pass and make him much more devilish.

There was some discussion about whether or not the sketch was too long and whether it was one or two sketches. The group was quite divided on this and I wasn’t left with a definite answer. A lot of the debate got down to personal opinion more than craft and since the reading I’ve been mulling over it.

Most sketches are usually short – the general rule being ‘the shorter the better’. After thinking about it I still believe it’s one sketch but I can see where I can set up the mid-point twist a bit more at the start. I can also now see where I can cut.

The one unanimous response was that the sketch finished on the right punchline and didn’t overstay it’s welcome. Whew!

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Overall I count the reading as a success. Yep, there’s more work to be done but the structure and characters are there. Now it’s about re-write, trimming and tweaking.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

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